Monday, March 28, 2005

Okay, so to sum up - I'm ugly, & you're a dick.

But hey - I suppose as long as we know the parameters...

Normally, I don't name names, but in this case - I swear to god the following story is true.

I show at MB on Sunday night for my regular shift for VotD - as I've mentioned in the past, it's pretty much a favor shift for G, the owner -- - I live like, 3 miles away, I go & hang out for four hours or so, pull in about $40 - 60 in cash for parking 8 - 12 cars in between reading or doing homework. Sunday nights are fairly chill. It's not a flash & smash scene, we tend to get a lot of well-into-the-relationship dates, a birthday party or two, or just a bunch of people meeting up with friends.

This in mind, when I work at MB I'm wearing the dress code for VotD - black pants, black turtleneck, & because I'd heard it was going to rain, a black leather jacket & a black bucket hat with my hair down. I mean, it's not high fashion, but I'm parking cars here people.

About an hour & a half into my shift, this big ass Range Rover (which really are amongst the most superfluous vehicles in the world - Hummer still outranks it, but when you live in LA, a Range? Totally unnecessary.) pulls up & this guy gets out. I recognized him because when I would get home from high school, my mom used to have General Hospital on while she was making dinner. Whatever, you're an actor - you & half the rest of this town.

Me : "Hi, how you doin' tonight, welcome to MB."
Him : ::looks me up & down:: "Wow, I would have thought that a company called VotD would have had higher standards & all."

::blink::
I'm sorry, but I think he just called me ugly.

Luckily, years of customer service stamped down on my urge to knee him in the groin & I replied, "Yeah, well you didn't call ahead to request a cheerleader party. Later!"

Like 20 minutes later, same guy comes bounding out going, "Tell me you have a cigarette!"
"Sorry, I don't smoke - I think there's like three other girls in town, but it's all right, we're starting a support group."

He then proceeded to try to get me to go in & bum a cigarette off one of the staff in the restaurant. I swear to god people, I can't make this shit up. Who are you & does your mom know you're such a rude fuck when she's not around? I'm here to park your car, & then bring it around when you're done. That's it, boy-o. Fuck off. Because I'll tell you right now - even if I was a smoker, I still wouldn't help you out.

I walk back from parking a car, & he's there, smoking a butt. he kinda raises it in my direction, & I nodded & went, "Glad you found somone willing to help you out." Most people would just like, nod or whatever. Not so much. He goes, "Yeah, how do you like me now Little Miss VotD!" I raised an eyebrow, went, "Riiiight..." and turned my back on him to continue with my book. Just as a side note, this guy bummed at least two more cigarettes of different patrons that I saw. Cigarettes are not cheap anywhere at the moment, but in CA I think they've actually got an additional tax similar to what NY put into play, so even more so with the 'spensive. Now, this guy's making money, 'cause he's working, and there's a corner store within walking distance - just go buy a fuckin' pack & stop bothering other people, dude.

M (host of the restaurant) came out & was talking to me - I guess this guy was being a pain in the ass in the restaurant too. I mentioned to M, "Well I'm not shocked at that one - first thing he told me was that I was ugly."
"He. Did. Not."
"Totally. Mr. All That thinks he's a VIP."
"No, you get to a VIP when I'm running the place by being a nice person. I don't care how much damn money you have."

We finally bundled him & his friends off, & I have a feeling someone's got a black mark on thier name thanks to the impression he managed to make last night. Way to go, genius.

In closing, I suppose the moral of the story here is twofold :
1. Sean Kanan is a dick, & one day he's going to say that to someone & find that his tires "accidentally" popped on the potholes in the parking lot.
2. When one can be found quite easily on imdb due to his wholly impressive appearances on Perry Mason & the fact that he was for four years A.J. Quartermain #7, one should be nicer to the staff at a restaurant.
Just a thought.

Abby: Did you call me?
Roy: What?
Abby: I heard dumb bitch. I assumed you were talking to me.
Roy: I was talking to her.
Abby: Your name is dumb bitch TOO? No wonder I keep getting all of your mail! You know, we could be related. There are a lot of us dumb bitches here in LA.
~ The Truth About Cats & Dogs

Saturday, March 26, 2005

I want my trees back.

so around my apt. bldg. are trees. Part of the reason I chose my apt. complex was because of these trees - there's not that much natural foliage in West LA that's not of the "manicured" variety.

I woke up this morning to the sound of chainsaws. In the name of fixing the roof, they'd already cut off the tops of the trees, & they were completely cutting down the one I'd always really liked that actually had grown around the arch of the stairway to the second level. Which means, if nothing else, that in our old building where air conditioners are pretty much a waste of electricity because the windows aren't airtight, we won't have the trees for shade & we're gonna roast. Plus, now a big part of the character of our building is gone.

I dunno. I know that, really, if any of us called the landlord to complain, we'd get told they're just trees, but it still makes me sad. And it's probably just another sign that my intentions to get out of LA are the right decision.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Friday rundown

--> It's raining.
--> I'm bored.
--> I have an hour left at work, & the last thing I want to do right now is find XHTML compliant code for embedding my pretty flash animations.
--> I just realized I've spent all day on a design for a web site template, & I didn't include the links to the rest of the site, just the subnavigation for each section. I thought everything looked higher than before. Well, that would be why, wouldn't it?
--> The funny thing about that is that I presented the site to the CEO, my Mktg. Dir, & the entire sales team on Tuesday, & none of them realized it either! Sad, but true.
--> On the one hand, this would give me something to do for the next hour. On the other, I could piss off & not work instead. the risk of this being that I'll forget altogether to put the navigation in.

Knowing me, best to do it now...

on the upside, I have finally. found. my. perfect. BOOTS! Simple, less than 3" heels with a sold tread & non-pointy toes. It's only taken me about a year, but there they are, and as of next week's paycheck, here they'll be! In black first, & then maybe in brown just for safety's sake...

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I discovered an odd thing tonight.

My hipbones.
They're there, and I suppose I've always known there were there - theoretically, anyway. But over the last few months, I've had several bouts of what we'll gently refer to as "stress-induced nausea" & also some actual sickness which has caused me to lose more weight than I've had off since...my junior year of high school. Of course, this really isn't saying much since I've been about 20 lbs overweight my entire life. I am, indeed one of those girls who "would be just lovely if you lost a little more weight dear"... However as of late, my weight's dropped a bit, and today I bumped my hip on my car door while getting out at school (doesn't matter how much weight I lose, I'll always be a klutz!) & when I went to rub my hip, I discovered something surprising - I can feel my hipbone.

It's all...very odd. I mean, shit, I'm still at 175 & would have about another 20 lbs before being in the "weight range" for my height (when you're a 5'10" female, the one bad thing about weight loss is having to buy new jeans, because when you only have one brand that fits the way you want, you have to order the long or extra long for $60/pair) but um, yeah. I have hipbones. Now if I can get to the point where I have a flat stomach instead of the little fat deposit that's over my flat abs - then we've got a winner, people. I'll let you know how it goes.

oh, so you're a slacker too? Excellent!

heh.I went to submit my actionscripting assignment for tonight (what do you mean I'm only uploading with two hours before class? There's something wrong with that? *g*) & noticed that hey - my professor still hasn't picked up my assignment from the last time there was class two weeks ago.

Upload, refresh the course page -- suddenly everything's corrected & I passed that last one just fine. ::snerk::

It's kind of nice to know I'm not the only one that went, "Ah, we don't have class last week, I'll just procrastinate..." Now if only I could stay awake during the woman's class, I'd feel even better about it. Instead I have to take notes on the chapter before I walk in so I know what the hell she's talking about, because her lecture style is heavily accented & she has a very. soft. voice...

Ah well. As of about three hours ago when Big Daddy G called me at work to say he's in town next week & do I want to go to dinner next Thurs., I'm skipping it next week anyway, so pish tosh & all that. I'll have to do my homework on Sat afternoon since there's no rich people's cars this weekend 'cept on Sun night - somehow, I've got a crapload of social activities between now & next Thurs. - how the hell did that happen?
-----------------

oh, and for those of you that asked, when I went to salary.com yesterday, I learned that I am indeed underpaid. Here I'm thinking I'm underpaid by fifteen k or so. Going just by my job title & metro area, I'm underpaid by almost fifty K. Oh god that's depressing. One less doubt as to a) getting out of my job & b) getting out of CA has been wiped away, lemme tell ya.
-----------------

I'm debating if I should use the 45 minutes I have before javascript/asp to go to the library & actually take the copious notes I normally do on Sunday night during my MB shift of work. But to do that & fully concentrate, I'll have to go to my car first & get my CD player, because I just can't concentrate in dead quiet like the library would be. This, really, is why I need to get myself an iPod - for the academic benefits....

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Things you say...

...while preparing for your review because your boss is out of town & you can openly look at salary.com

This employer requires that I work in hazardous conditions - yes or no.

Claris' Brain : Does my boss count?

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Hi, I'm a big geek.

I know, I know. I'm a dork. I know this. But there's still a part of me that, when I get a program to work, is all, "Suck that bitch!" I am still in a chipper mood when I know that I've done all my homework & I'm caught up for the week. Even being partially taken care of & knowing I only have to come back tomorrow night & do my Actionscripting assignment in order to be all caught up - that puts me in a good mood. Because I'm a dork. I realize this.

However, that doesn't make me any less triumphant that yet again I have defeated the VisualBasic.net gods & made them bow before my greatness, damn you!"
psst - and kiss the boots, there's a good defeated programming deity. ::pat::pat::

Okay, yeah - I need help.

Have we been over how happy it makes me that I've been using my tips from valet lately to pay off one parking ticket every week? (yes, I have that many - no, we don't discuss it, just accept I have that many because I have street parking in LA, all right?) Every time I send off another money order, I'm that. much. more. accomplished.

I'm choosing to blame Anya. She's a bad influence.

unexpected results....

ETA: Hello to everyone in the military that keeps coming to this post.

First off - dude, you're looking on work servers? GREAT way to get busted.

Second - I know because if you read this blog, I'm a programmer. of COURSE my blog has a tracking script on it. Why? Because I'm a geek.

Third - The hits for this entry have gone beserk on my sitecounter over the last few days, and they're coming from US military servers. Which leads me to ask...guys, what odd keyword did I show up under? Seriously, you can tell me - half the guys in my family are/were in the service, so I promise I won't be shocked if it was the phrase "kitten fucker" that got you here. it's actually kind of funny.

-----------

"Once you use up all the memory, that's it. Your computer hangs."
- legitimate comment by my scripting professor regarding infinite loops.

This comment of course involved my brain instantly having the vision of a computer in a situation similar to that of one of those stereotypical "kitten hanging from a tree branch poster" that says, "Hang in there".



Now, the above comment is common enough from me. The part that makes this entry truly messed up? That I did a google search looking for an image of that poster to link to, & used a google search for kitten poster hang in there - because I'm thinking, hey, that should do the trick.

Sadly, the following actually showed up on my screen :
... Slow-mo power kitten fucking rules. posted by goetter at 10:46PM UTC on December 19, 2004. ... I think they're getting a lot of action, but hang in there ...

Dude. That's just not right, yo.

Dear MS Office Paperclip :

Go away! I know, it's like, your job to bother me every time I log onto a different computer in the school's network, but really? Take 5, dude. It's cool, I won't tell Bill Gates. Life is good for you, my friend - for I am indeed the rare user that knows what she's doing & can't remember the last time she actually had to touch the "help" function. In truth, I've been meaning to tell you for a while that if you would give your instructions also using keystrokes for the functions instead of mouse clicks, your users would probably be able to work faster. I think that really, we've all known that for a while, but you're just so enthusiastic every time you show up, & nobody's had the heart to tell you. I, however, am a heartless bitch, & therefore feel no compunction about saying - "Dude! shut up!"

::smoochies::

~ Claris

Monday, March 14, 2005

Yes, I totally took a picture of that car.

Actual plate on a car that I parked this weekend :

IEMBALM


--> Other than that...normal chaos, waiting for the last bit of info to go to the fin. aid dir. so that he can finish my loans (yes, I got a vm on Fri saying that they just wanted confirmation on Item A & they'll go with it - 'bout time, dammit.)

The last week has left me very tired of all this - LA, my job, valeting for stupid rich people, everything. If nothing else, I feel that much better about my decision to start looking at an elsewhere to be by Labor Day. I just need to get my money sitch settled & work towards The Plan Of Escape.

Plus hey - one of the first steps in The Plan Of Escape is for me to fly Anya in, ditch my KIA & buy a new car, using my student loan money so that I don't have car payments when I move. That alone is kind of motivating!

I was thinking I might look at getting a Scion xA in a 5 speed. They're little, but I can still fit da puppers & stuff in it, they get good gas mileage, & this is LA, so even though they've only been out for two years, I can get a 2003 that's come off of lease, or, since it's LA...one that's been repo-ed. *grin*

Anybody got any suggestions on what car to look at?

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Crack, huh? How's that working out for you?

Okay, I'm now willing to admit that I might be officially sick. I thought I'd be okay...last night I didn't feel like making the effort of driving to the gym, so I just did an easy four miles around my neighborhood. Granted, yes I had to stop every so often so I could huck up the phlegm as my system purged, but after a nice long salutation & a hot shower, I figured I'd be all set. Yeah, not so much. I woke up this morning & overslept an hour & a half from my normal Tues/Thurs (days I have classes) arrival time.
the meeting I came in for today (yes guys, that one) has been delayed until 2. I almost cried, 'cause that means I can't leave until 3 at the earliest. Fuck. I wanna go back home & curl up in bed with my dog and sleep for...well, pretty much ever. But I can't, 'cause there's class tonight, & homework to be done after, since I don't have a PC system at home & have to do all my work at school.

Speaking of which...got a call back from the Fin. Aid Dir. -- it seems the professor who charted out the program I'm in told him that he "can't comment on what the job availability is now for designers vs. developers." What? ::boggle:: You can't endorse your own program? I, just..I'm...oh fuck. I told Fin. Aid Dir. that he also asked a professor who would then have to admit he hasn't actually worked full time as a programmer in ten years, but if he wants, I can show him a dearth of job listings. I then hung up, called my recruiter over at Creative Circle, S, explained what was going on, & asked her to give him a call. S (who was also the one to once dub my current employment "fiscal rape") was like, "What? Are they on crack? there's FAR more developer jobs out there than designer jobs! Give me this guy's number, this is ridiculous."
So she's going to call him today & let him know that yes, I'm NOT insane. I swear to god, I'm this close to reporting the Fin. Aid Dept. to the CA Board of Education for harassment -- three appeals, a different requirement each time, I have to do all the legwork, and you're still dicking me around since November? I hate academic beauracracy so much right now. I'm going to ask the Fin. Aid Dir. to forward me the e-mails from the prof (this is, btw, the one that drove me BESERK in the fall semsester, for those of you keeping track). I have to sit down with the head of the CIS/CS Dept. anyway to see which classes I can pass out of, so while I'm there I'm going to ask why her professors can't support the Assoc. Programs they're originating.

Meanwhile, I needed a spreadsheet for store locations reformatted, but didn't feel like dealing with JT's asst. aka Mr. You're Not My Boss & I Don't Have to Listen to You Even Though My Boss Has Specifically Told Me My Job is to Collect Info. for You. So I asked the temp we have in here doing mailings to redo it for me instead. I can only do so many fights in one day, man. Even I get tired eventually, ya know?

But hey, this afternoon should be good times -- after all, I'm sick, I'm hyped up on Tylenol Cold & Flu, all I've been able to keep down so far today is half a gallon of orange juice & a chocolate chip scone, & hey! the other two women walking in with me are pissed off that we even have to deal with this crap. Should be good times. is it 2 pm yet?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Good news, mediocre news...

--> The good news is, the CEO accepted the new ad campaign & has told me to move forward on the web site comps.
thankfuckinggod.

--> The mediocre news is that the Fin. Aid Dir. was all, "I'll get back to you with my decision." so I'm not screwed, I'm just...in limbo. Still. I don't think he gets that I've been trying to get an answer from his dept. since November. I think that's pretty fucking patient, thanks.

I have 45 minutes left at work. I think it might be worth my sanity to leave in 30 so I can go to school & do my Flash II assignment.

a small list brought to you by the letters "f,u,c,k, & u"

• I am frustrated with my job.
• I am annoyed at the fact that I am proposing we advertise our company & its products in a way that surpasses the design principles of 1985 means that the other two designers are unwilling to support myself or the tech writer. For a product that's to be marketed to women, these men want to focus not on the product itself, but the patent enforcement & for a weight-loss/blood glucose product show a judge's chambers with a photograph of the patent enforcement information instead of, say an actual ad campaign built around, say...people.
• It bothers me that I've managed in the space of two days to concept, design & carry out a campaign proposal that half the women in the office have asked for copies of so they can put it up in their cubicles, yet I'm going to walk into the CEO's office sometime today with full knowledge that he most likely won't do it and instead will run yet another ad with beveled-edge squares and hazy films.
• I have decided that if this happens, I'm informing my boss that he should no longer ask me to contribute to the ad campaigns since obviously it's a waste of my time -- I'll just concentrate on the web pages & the subcompany that I'm Art Director of & don't get paid to be Art Director of where there's a Marketing Asst. who gives me attitude because "I'm not his boss" even though his boss told him when he was hired, "Claris isn't technically your boss, but when she needs something, it's your job to make sure it happens".
• I am exhausted from working this job 40 hours a week, valeting 20 hours a week on the weekends, and having three college class workloads to take care of.
• I had to leave a note for my neighbor to ask her to walk my dog today because I have to go up to school early. I have to go up to school early today because last night I just didn't have the energy to go there to do my homework after an eight hour workday and a two hour drive to get the 15 miles from my work to my house because no one thought that hey, maybe we should make the roads in California a little better reinforced so they don't have sinkholes when there's rain.
• I wish I could just get an ANSWER from Fin. Aid to know if they're going to give me the damned loans because I really don't feel like having to contact the VP of Academic Affairs, but if I don't get an answer today I will. I have to go to school to do my homework because I haven't gotten the loans I need to buy myself the materials I need to do my schoolwork at home.
• I hate that my job is so underpaid that I even have to ask for these loans.
• I'm terrified that my car is going to just die any day now.
• I am this close to bursting into tears because of all of the above. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I can't believe you just said that like, for REAL.

Talking to Fin. Aid Dir. & he's telling me that he doesn't see where in my third appeal it shows that my present career isn't economically viable. I point out that I actually addressed that in the first two paragraphs of my letter, and the rest that followed to the second page was just follow up on issues we'd already discussed.

I hear a rustling of papers &, "Oh. There's a first page. I don't...I don't think they were presented to me in proper page order."
"Well, I faxed them that way."
(mental snark - yes. That would be why the first page has "To: YOUR NAME" on it, & the second page has "From: MY NAME" on it.)

he's going to read that over & get back to me. I swear to god I'm asking for his boss' phone number next time.

ETA : Anya alerted me that the reason no one comments is because my settings were to eBlog members only. ::cough:: oops. I've fixed that now so that she can be sarcastic to me.