Monday, March 28, 2005

Okay, so to sum up - I'm ugly, & you're a dick.

But hey - I suppose as long as we know the parameters...

Normally, I don't name names, but in this case - I swear to god the following story is true.

I show at MB on Sunday night for my regular shift for VotD - as I've mentioned in the past, it's pretty much a favor shift for G, the owner -- - I live like, 3 miles away, I go & hang out for four hours or so, pull in about $40 - 60 in cash for parking 8 - 12 cars in between reading or doing homework. Sunday nights are fairly chill. It's not a flash & smash scene, we tend to get a lot of well-into-the-relationship dates, a birthday party or two, or just a bunch of people meeting up with friends.

This in mind, when I work at MB I'm wearing the dress code for VotD - black pants, black turtleneck, & because I'd heard it was going to rain, a black leather jacket & a black bucket hat with my hair down. I mean, it's not high fashion, but I'm parking cars here people.

About an hour & a half into my shift, this big ass Range Rover (which really are amongst the most superfluous vehicles in the world - Hummer still outranks it, but when you live in LA, a Range? Totally unnecessary.) pulls up & this guy gets out. I recognized him because when I would get home from high school, my mom used to have General Hospital on while she was making dinner. Whatever, you're an actor - you & half the rest of this town.

Me : "Hi, how you doin' tonight, welcome to MB."
Him : ::looks me up & down:: "Wow, I would have thought that a company called VotD would have had higher standards & all."

I'm sorry, but I think he just called me ugly.

Luckily, years of customer service stamped down on my urge to knee him in the groin & I replied, "Yeah, well you didn't call ahead to request a cheerleader party. Later!"

Like 20 minutes later, same guy comes bounding out going, "Tell me you have a cigarette!"
"Sorry, I don't smoke - I think there's like three other girls in town, but it's all right, we're starting a support group."

He then proceeded to try to get me to go in & bum a cigarette off one of the staff in the restaurant. I swear to god people, I can't make this shit up. Who are you & does your mom know you're such a rude fuck when she's not around? I'm here to park your car, & then bring it around when you're done. That's it, boy-o. Fuck off. Because I'll tell you right now - even if I was a smoker, I still wouldn't help you out.

I walk back from parking a car, & he's there, smoking a butt. he kinda raises it in my direction, & I nodded & went, "Glad you found somone willing to help you out." Most people would just like, nod or whatever. Not so much. He goes, "Yeah, how do you like me now Little Miss VotD!" I raised an eyebrow, went, "Riiiight..." and turned my back on him to continue with my book. Just as a side note, this guy bummed at least two more cigarettes of different patrons that I saw. Cigarettes are not cheap anywhere at the moment, but in CA I think they've actually got an additional tax similar to what NY put into play, so even more so with the 'spensive. Now, this guy's making money, 'cause he's working, and there's a corner store within walking distance - just go buy a fuckin' pack & stop bothering other people, dude.

M (host of the restaurant) came out & was talking to me - I guess this guy was being a pain in the ass in the restaurant too. I mentioned to M, "Well I'm not shocked at that one - first thing he told me was that I was ugly."
"He. Did. Not."
"Totally. Mr. All That thinks he's a VIP."
"No, you get to a VIP when I'm running the place by being a nice person. I don't care how much damn money you have."

We finally bundled him & his friends off, & I have a feeling someone's got a black mark on thier name thanks to the impression he managed to make last night. Way to go, genius.

In closing, I suppose the moral of the story here is twofold :
1. Sean Kanan is a dick, & one day he's going to say that to someone & find that his tires "accidentally" popped on the potholes in the parking lot.
2. When one can be found quite easily on imdb due to his wholly impressive appearances on Perry Mason & the fact that he was for four years A.J. Quartermain #7, one should be nicer to the staff at a restaurant.
Just a thought.

Abby: Did you call me?
Roy: What?
Abby: I heard dumb bitch. I assumed you were talking to me.
Roy: I was talking to her.
Abby: Your name is dumb bitch TOO? No wonder I keep getting all of your mail! You know, we could be related. There are a lot of us dumb bitches here in LA.
~ The Truth About Cats & Dogs


At 12:42 PM, Anonymous Anya said...

Bad bad dickwad. Evil git clearly doesn't know that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all.

'Cause, karmically, his ass is gonna get kicked. I said so.

At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cheers to you, darlin'! There are very few people with taste and tact left in this world..and this lil' blog shows it. He's a tosser.

At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Justin said...

Thanks for sharing this story. Jerks like that need to be exposed.

Good writing and funny recap, love it!


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