Friday, December 30, 2005

oh light the sky & hold on tight, the world is burning down...

I've decided to take the winter squeeze semester off from school. I'm not ready for C+ programming yet, and I don't have a laptop at home, which means I can only do homework at school...I would rather spend the next six weeks putting my freelance work to bed and doing messenger work on the weekends so I can pay for a new laptop & be able to go into the spring semester knowing that I've got what I need to be able to take my classes without a nervous breakdown. Because I hear not having a psychotic break is a better way to approach academia. Just a thought. So next semester it's Java, Flash Actionscripting I, & some other course to be determined between now & then.
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went out with J-of-the-red-hair again last night, and realized...yeah, this isn't working. He's nice, if a little overeager, and he makes me laugh, but I'm just...it all feels awkward. We met up at my apt., & went to dinner on Melrose, & when we went back to my apt. to hang out...I just wasn't comfortable having him there. It just felt ...wrong. And all the wanting to make an effort in the world isn't going to make it right. He asked if I wanted to go on some cruise ship party for NYE - something involving costumes, and I just had this instinctual thing of "yeah, no..." in my brain. Outwardly, I just said I'd have to see if I felt up to it...but I think when he calls tonight, I'm just going to tell him I don't think we should see one another anymore.
He's funny & fun to hang out with in the same way that Sam is - in fact, I found myself thinking several times that he & Sam would really get along. But (and I can say this knowing that Sam's pretty much okay with the following statement) - I wouldn't date Sam. It's not that kind of fun, so to speak. So yeah. J-of-the-red-hair, good luck & godspeed.
Also, based on the fact that the last three guys I've dated have had names starting with J, and two I didn't care about & the other, it seemed, didn't care about me, I'm thinking that I need to branch out to other letters of the alphabet in the new year.
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I should probably take the N*sync Christmas carols off my Nano.

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