Monday, February 27, 2006

Fuck you, Little Non-Smiley Man. Fuck. You.

Gods, I'm tired. For those of you just turning in, sometimes being a girl SUCKS. And I don't even have it as bad as other girls I know - I learned this mostly by the fact that some of my friends in the past may have reacted to my version of PMS with a shaky fist & a raining down of epithets.

See, where some girls are uncomfortable for two weeks out of the month due to pre, during, & post, my body is having none of that. Those who know me won't be all surprised at the fact that I think, somewhere along the way, my body decided, "Fuck this shit, let's just get it over with as quickly as possible! Power through, reproductive system, power through!" - which is to say that if this were crew, it could be expressed that my body just does steady state for about four days, except it's at a 30 stroke rate and my coach is in the launch yelling that we're doing power 20's all the way.
R.S. Monkey is possibly the only person reading that actually understood all of that, but the short version is that it fucking sucks.

Also? I highly advocate against starting Weight Watchers the week before you get your period. I did my weigh in this morning, & because I "gained" two pounds, I got the non-happy face...He looks kinda like this :
0 0
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And then he gave me a pseudo-comforting schpiel about how sometimes, the first week of a diet plan is the hardest, but I'll do better this week!
You know what I say to that? I say, "Fuck you, Little Non-Smiley Man. Fuck. You."

In addition, it is now raining in L.A. Gods help us all, every single psycho is about to come out & play on the highway. I pretty much already know that I won't have sculling tonight (the boats are fiberglass, but the rigging's metal) but I'm staying at work until 6:30 anyway because there's no use trying to go home right now - besides, as I said to R.S. Monkey, by the time I get there, the gym will be deserted - it'll be 7pm, it's raining, & thankfully, the ides of march = the waning attendance of the New Years' Resolutioners.
Which reminds me. I have to go burn that last DVD of Rome eps & get them off my hard drive. Ah, Cesar...Ciaran Hinds played you so well, I was actually sad when you died - and I'm the girl that sat in Titanic & went, "So...when's the boat gonna start to sink?"

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

There is not a rose in the city.

I don't actually know that for a fact, but I'll bet they're damned hard to find. Finding roses on Valentine's Day is about as hard as finding a cab in LA on Halloween - Good. Fuckin'. Luck.
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Actually, I walked out of work rather dejected today, went to school, sat down, and discovered at 4:15 that the class I thought started at 5:15 actually starts at 6:45 every Tuesday. Oy. Considering that on the days I have crew (like, oh, say...Tuesdays) I get into work at 7:45 & am out by 4:15, that puts me at school at about 4:45 with two hours to burn. I think before class tonight, I'm going to go scout the school's gym facilities -- I've only been going here what, a year & a half now? Psh, might as well see what they have for facilities here. If I'm going to have two hours to myself, I might as well go for a run or do an erg session & shower before class so I can go straight home & remind my dog that yes, she does have a mommy -- I think Zoey doubts that during my school semesters.

In other news, R.S. Monkey gave me some numerically cheerful news that totally made my day & is a sign that my petty, petty ass is so going to hell. Thank you & g'night.

Monday, February 13, 2006

::insert something witty here::

Total: Forty-four dollars!
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Yes, true dat. January has 31 days, after all, so today would be the last day before I get to have bread again. *g*

Actually, as some of you know, I ditched some other areas of my life for 45 days too. And much like bread, I have to say after six weeks away I just... I don't need it. I'm also learning, esp after last week, what my peaks & valleys seem to be in terms of getting better control on my energy issues. I think I may actually start marking it on a calendar so I can see if there's a certain sustained cycle - what can I say, for years my friends hated me because I never got PMS, so I guess I get this instead. fantastic.
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Went down to San Diego on Saturday & re-did my Feb 2k sprint. Better. Not exactly where I'd like to be, since I strayed above my stroke rate slightly, but at least something I can live with. Will post times & analyze incessantly later for my own reference - because I'm a dork like that. Also realizing that I never put my Jan times up, so it'll probably be a 2 for 1 post. I'll sit down with Coach T tonight & discuss how to approach the March sprints.

After coming back from SD, I showered, napped & then decided to get up & go do things. First I took a meander around my neighborhood & saw the people in it to get groceries, since the tiny Russian markets in West Hollywood might each be the size of a postage stamp, but their produce is way the hell cheaper than Ralph's, and since there's about 8 of them in a two block radius from my apt., I have found that just starting at Fairfax & walking down along the south sidewalk of Santa Monica is the easiest way to go before I head up to the Jon's & Ralph's on LaBrea & get the more run of the mill things. (and yes, this does mean that some of the boxes & bottles in my kitchen are not in English.)
After I got home again, I cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom, then made a big old pot of stew (Incidentally, I now also know I need a bigger stock pot - it fit, but hoo, it was close!). While that was going, I cleaned the bathroom, much to Zoey's paranoia, since normally the last thing I do before I clean the tub is toss her in for a bath - the result being that after three & a half years of this being my M.O. living by myself, whenever I go into the bathroom & start cleaning, my dog curls up in a defeated ball in the hallway & just waits for the torture to be inflicted by her mean, mean, mommy. She was spared the terrible fate this time, however, and I think that may have messed with her more than actually getting a bath. It's good for her though - keep her on her toes, leave the wee bitty guessing. Much like an Alias s. 2 & 3 plotline, I'm not just Zoey's mommy, I'm also her evyl nemesis.

Sunday was nice in that I finally got the rest of the laundry done, and managed to start on the green curtains for the back room. I got one panel fully done, and the other 3 are at about 75% completion - one of them needs the bottom stripe done, & for the other two I have to go buy more brown ribbon to reinforce the top, since I ran out. oops.
However, we did discover one neat thing - because of my habit of turning the seams out & sewing them down, I seem to have made fully reversible curtains, and both sides look cool. I couldn't decide which side I liked better, so I brought it outside to ask my neighbors (at the time, the Doorstep Opinion Board was two straight girls & a gay guy) and we were all equally stumped. It's possible I may have to do an online poll at a later date. You know, once I have pictures & all. We'll see.
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I also signed up for school again this morning. Three courses this semester...
1. Intro To Computers (online course)
2. Database Management Using MS Access 2003 (online course)
3. C Programming

Now, before anyone gets on my ass for overreaching, please note that two of the courses are
a) online
b) total blowoff courses for me.

I have to take both of them, so I figure I might as well just get it over with. And, if they're anything like the Introduction to Internet Programming that I took my first semester, I really don't forsee either one being a huge trauma considering what I do for a living, thanks.

In terms of mental taxation, my only concern is the C Programming. However, I think that the best way for me to approach this is that since I'm not doing Sat am practices right now, I'm just going to designate Sat am as my school day, and go hang out there from like, 8 - 1pm every week so that I can get the C & the Access work done. It will also prevent me from having to immediately purchase a laptop. While yes, I did get the check from the CP.com job on Friday (yay customers that pay on time!), I also think I should pay my accountant to do my taxes, so in the interest of getting that done w/o feeling like I'm not putting any money in the bank, I'm going to just deposit the CP.com check for now. (well okay - I'll drop some money on my measly credit card, get a haircut at R.S. Monkey's salon, cave & buy myself a couple new sweaters1 and put the rest into my ING...but more than half goes into savings!)

also, is it a sign of sickness if I chose my on-site course based on whether or not I'd have to re-schedule my night sculling2 practices? nah....

Also after last week when the boat flooded & I had wet sneakers for two days, I really need to get a pair of these. Except probably not in yellow. 'cause um, I don't really do yellow. It's right up there with what I said to Missi last night while she sat through the slow sad torture of shopping online with me via AIM - "I just know better than to consider any garment whose only color available is one that has the classification 'primrose pink'." Yellow? same thing.
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1. my wardrobe is very, very sad right now. I happened upon a couple of pairs of pants as of late that will work well, but shirts I can wear to work seem to be in short supply what with my living half a mile north of Melrose but unwilling to de-evolve to the 80s in my attire. and shoes? ::hand up:: Let's just not even talk about shoes. ::sigh:: Some bitch at Payless bought the last pair of size 10s that I wanted. (yes, they're a 4" heel, but I figure my Mudd boots are too, and at least with the cork heel, they'll actually settle & sink about an inch after I've worn them for two weeks or so. However, thanks to the woman that TOOK THEM RIGHT WHEN I WAS GOING TO...I think I may just order online.

also, wtf is this shit? I am not fighting lions, I just want a flat sandal. It's bad enough that when you're 5'9" you get Xena jokes every so often as it is. Sheesh.

and now I'm digressing in my footnotes. Let's move on.

2. Sweep rowing = one oar. This is what I normally race.
Sculling = two oars. This is what I get to learn now. yay?

Friday, February 10, 2006

meh.

All I have wanted to do lately is nap. Not like, a full up sleep, because that would be admitting defeat to the REM Gods (the ones of which Michael Stipe is not a member) Instead, I just seem to want to lay in bed, half awake, half asleep, and then nothing gets done... but the dog is diggin the naptime. But I need to stay up tonight, and do the dishes, and run laundry, and clean my apartment...I always MEAN to clean my apt., I just..can't seem to care enough to do it...

I think I know what I want to do for not only VotD.com, but also for the next version of GoA.com. I just...need the energy to do it. I feel like I've just barely got enough oomph in me to manage crew & work - anything outside of that, I just... can't seem to give a damn about. Or I do, and I have things I want to accomplish, but the actual accomplishing seems to get lost somewhere in the mix. I don't even know that I care about crew anymore. I just feel... apathetic. I keep looking at stuff & thinking, "Why do I bother to do this?" I'm tired of personal politics, and people's feelings, and what I'm doing wrong or what I'm not doing that I should be, and just...everything. And I'm tired of the fact that I seem to be endlessly tired.

And so I have two hours left in my workday, after which I shall go home, take off my wet sneakers, and attempt to make the motions that signal my life is continuing - because I learned long ago that it's just going to keep going, even if I don't really care right now what I see when I look out the window.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I'm gonna get you a button. It will say "curmudgeonly bastard". You can wear it to meetings.

Total: Thirty-six dollars!
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So...anyone know where I would go to get a button made for one of my PMs? Anyone? R.S. Monkey, I know you know this one, you know all this stuff.

Skipped crew this morning so I could get some stuff done & out the door, including the brief w/ samples that FrogStudio requested following my phone screening last week. I actually didn't plan to miss crew, but I started working at 3 am, & looked up & it was 4:30 am, and I had nothing packed and was still working, and...yeah. The good news is that a crapload of stuff is done, and G isn't organized enough to actually keep track of shiznit, so at least I don't have a cox-ing penalty. back to the normal routine tomorrow morning, jiggedy, jig.

Besides, I think I brightened Zoey's whole day when we walked the two miles round trip to the Post Office & back. I know it says "No dogs other than those for the impaired" but ya know what? It's 6:15 am. I think my dog can run in circles in the empty lobby while I use the automated postage machine. The blessed, blessed automated postage machine, how I love you so.
Plus, I finally remembered to drop off my NetFlix. I might actually have new movies to watch on Sat when I get back from San Diego & don't want to move.

It's a very small comfort to me, but while the lists aren't really getting any shorter, at least the items are changing. Slowly, yes, but changing nonetheless.
Daily List
1. Clean bathroom (and dog) tonight.
2. Hang L shelves, move phone & alarm clock.
3. Throw out old alarm clock, since I haven't used it in three mos, & as of this morning slept through my cell phone alarm & missed crew, so obviously my body has adjusted to that noise & it's time to break out the alarm clock R.S. Monkey gave me for my bday. *g*
4. Make chicken mango won tons so that I have something besides salad to eat at work tomorrow.
5. Look up references from GoA.com research from this morning that work's webnanny will not let me see
6. Put out clothes & set up bag for crew & work
7. Back up heinsite server so I can upgrade to .asp server w/o worrying about shit getting lost.
8. E-mail Nic & Nora zip for Coven, vol. 1 review.
9. Fix duvet covers bought at Ikea.
10. Cut new curtains for back office.
11. Iron material bought to make new skirts.
12. Fold laundry before you lose dog under pile of clean, dry, but otherwise unkempt clothing. because really? Losing the dog = things that would probably be bad.
13. Go for run.
14. Clean up desk. (hah)

Brilliant.

The problem with doing work early in the morning while listening to the Virgin Radio UK feed on iTunes is that you get done with something, cross it off your list, & find yourself saying, "Brilliant!" with a british accent.

Ah...pissit.

Monday, February 06, 2006

..and he doesn't even know that I accidentally found our cox on the internet over the weekend.

Total: Thirty-five dollars!
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In then context of rowing, that actually is a legitimate sentence. great sport, mine.

What is with everyone today? I thought it was just me, but no no! There seems to be a general high goin' 'round the world. R.S. Monkey is threatening to smack others due to mediocrity, I'm hyper as hell, and I literally just had the following conversation:

Project Manager J: I have a name for my course!
Claris: Okay. Hit me.
PM J: ::Name of product here::
Claris: Isn't that the same thing we were calling Chapter 1?
PM J: Probably. Okay, I have a meeting, and I'll get back to you.
Claris: You do that!
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So I did my first erg crash competition at Long Beach on Saturday. And I sucked. SUCKED. We're not going to discuss it other than to say I was so pissed that I literally got up off my erg, walked to my car, and just. drove. home. I didn't even stay for my split times.

I will say this one thing - if, perchance, you are a coach, I would like to offer the following advice. If you have certain members of the team that you prefer, and certain members that you do not, it would be most appreciated if you do not stop at the person you do not prefer's erg thirty seconds before a race starts, tell her that her display is wrong, and then go stand behind the team member that takes private lessons from you. Because it will, you know, possibly startle Person A and eff up her race. Just skip the girl you don't like, and proceed to Person B, because Person A pretty much figured out the deal a while ago, & learned how to prep & train for a race w/o you, thanks.

Speaking of which, since I sucked such complete ass at Long Beach, I decided that I'm going to hie my way down to San Diego this Saturday and do it all over again. Because I am indeed, sick & wrong that way.
coach's permission? psh. Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

As for this morning's row...heh. I just do not feel I could do it justice. Indeed.
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I also took the opportunity that is SuperBowl weekend to go to Ikea & get less run over - I'm really not kidding when I say the majority of the patrons in Ikea on SuperBowl sunday were not speaking English. I could recognize French, German, Spanish, & several Asian languages - ah, America. Ain't it grand? Anyway, I managed to walk away with naught but a few new bedding items & some cookie pans, thereby once again proving my title of "Resolve of Steel" given to me by my former neighbor Sunny, who was in awe that I can walk Ikea for two hours & spend less than $40.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I don't smoke pot, but my DJ Missi does.

Total: Thirty-one dollars!
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I have no excitement. really, I don't. Right now I'm just trying to get everything done, maybe start an article, and re-org my hard drive. I don't really think any of that is especially blog-able... Oh, wait. Once again, something was going on in my neighborhood on Tues. night. How do I know that? Because of all of the helicopters. that's how you know things are going on in LA, after all - you follow the sound of the news 'copters. And geezum capeezum, were they ALL OVER my 'hood the other night. Which means that either some celebrity thing was going on somewhere that was worth the news, or a crime was going on that warranted the cops. Of course, you neighborhood only truly gains "Punch Buggy, no return" street cred is when a celebrity is involved in a crime, and you get the news and the cops circling the air at the same time.

Oh god, I know I'm forgetting something, but here goes:
New List Time:
1. Meet new client at 5:30 today, smile & nod a bunch.
2. Cleaned kitchen last night, so clean bathroom tonight.
3. do Flat Stanley CD, drop in mail overnight & send greeneyes apology for being such a suck-ass Flat Stanley host. Oy.
4. Hopefully invoice CP.com ::crosses fingers::
5. Burn CP.com archives, remove files from hard drive & flash drive.
6. Hang L shelves, move phone & alarm clock.
7. Throw out old alarm clock, since I haven't used it in three mos, & as of this morning slept through my cell phone alarm & missed crew, so obviously my body has adjusted to that noise & it's time to break out the alarm clock R.S. Monkey gave me for my bday. *g*
8. Apply for Dell credit to see if I can get a PC laptop. ::crosses toes::
9. Make chicken mango won tons so that I have something besides salad to eat at work tomorrow.
10. Take dog for run.
11. Attempt to make some semblance of order out of chaos of apartment.
12. Back up heinsite server so I can upgrade to .asp server tomorrow w/o worrying about shit getting lost.
13. Leave payment for dogsitter.
14. Lay out clothes for morning.
15. Sleep.
16. Don't forget to get up early & take dog for run, since writer's workshop is tomorrow.
17. Nothing yet, just felt like ending on a prime number.