Thursday, August 17, 2006

Behavioral Algebra: The Workplace Edition

This is a story of three escalating variables adding up to one solution

Blog = Yeah, that happens nowadays
So my friend J called me when I was in Seattle - it's come to her attention that one of her employees (whom I a shall henceforth refer to as Are You Fucking Kidding Me? - AYFKM? for short) has a blog. Now, since hey, I'm writing in a blog, and y'all are reading said writing... normally I wouldn't cite that as a problem.

Stupidity = Wow, you're kinda new the internet, huh?
So it would seem that when AYFKM? applied for the job, she didn't follow the advice of oh so many "how to present your resume" lists on - because, you see, she used her personal email to send out the resumes. Edit. note: E.Spat did this once by accident - different from AYFKM?, who had hers printed at the top of the resume. Now, as someone that does a lot of contract work, I'd have to say that using the same email for your blog as your job applications... not the best idea. Because eventually, someone that interviewed you will be procrastinating on turning in copy to the poor bastard that got half of my job duties when I ran like hell from the place, and Mr. Procrastinator just might google your email... find said blog, and discover that not only were you email ignorant, but you're also a dumbass who put her position and the name of the company she works for in her blog, thus eliminating any fucking chance of anonymity.

Fraud = Bitch, are you for real?
Now, with this background of easy traceability and coworkers with nothing better to do than google, I have another key piece of advice for AYFKM?. That would be the following. Are you listening, kids? Because what I'm about to say is very, very important, and I don't want you to miss it.

If you are going to be stupid enough to falsify your expense reports and overcharge the company when you are out at trade shows, it's probably not a good idea to brag about having done so in your publicly searchable blog.

and in answer to a couple of you that are staring at the screen right now, I shall pre-emptively answer, "Oh, yes... yes she did."

Now, I'm sure you can guess what my initial response was to the situation when I heard about it from about 1,000 miles away over the phone, "Yeah, that's an HR issue." However, having just now had the time to read the blog, I gave my Official Internet Professional Consult to J this afternoon...

...which brings us to today's

Behavioral Algebra: The Workplace Edition equation of the day:

(Blog + Stupidity)Fraud = So. Totally. Fired.

'cause seriously? wow.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go listen to Sarah McLachlan songs off of YouTube while my iPod is charging. Because while I'll be the first to admit that I have an abusive use of the internet in the workplace, I was also smart enough to make that an actual skill that applies to my profession. ;)


At 1:04 AM, Anonymous MrWhyt said...

Wow. That pretty much takes the cake in the karma: can be very enteraining to others department.

At 8:29 AM, Blogger eternity said...

Hi, I would like to invite you to visit :-

At 8:53 AM, Blogger claris said...

well that's the funnier part, is that she actually brags in her blog about how much smarter she is than "damned near everyone else in the building".

Uh... wanna bet?

At 10:59 AM, Blogger R.S. Monkey said...

I personally enjoyed the use of algebraic expression. And they say you'll never use it again real life! Boyfriend will be very happy to see this :-)

At 5:02 PM, Blogger Galactichero said...

... I am in AWE!!!

Where I work someone figured out someone else's blog, and then they found out she was an alcoholic druggie. Yeah. Blogs can be bad.

When I was in college a friend used my name to post to alt.rec.drugs, and now it comes up in a google search. Luckily it's not a bad thing but... I was pretty much straightedge most of the way through college. The irony...


Post a Comment

<< Home